


So if you must falter be wise

by KiriJones



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Flashbacks, Gen, I hate Dean Boland, Post Season 2, What would a parent do for their children?, and I always have had a soft spot for Matthew Lillard, and see glimpses of someone worthy of redemption, but I also pity him if that makes sense, like how he reacted to Beth at the end of 2x13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-09-30 11:43:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20446610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiriJones/pseuds/KiriJones
Summary: Dean Boland is not the best man. After the past three years he has finally come to a place where he can admit it. He is weak, selfish, and lies. But no matter his lack of character he does love his children. There is nothing he would not do for them. And so when his ex-wife, who has against all odds become something of a queen of crime, goes missing choices must be made. How far will Dean go to protect his children and the child of the man whom he hates? If he must stain his hands black will he be able to do so? And in middle of it all could he possibly salvage himself as well?





	So if you must falter be wise

Dean Boland is driving his suv down the winding country roads doing his best to stay calm. The five children are sleeping and he is gripping the steering wheel so hard his hands are white. It has been almost two days and he is getting more uneasy and paranoid the longer this drags on. He doesn't know who to hate more in this moment. His wife, the queen of crime that she is, for going missing. That Kingpin of hers for daring to come into their lives and destroy everything. Or if he is being truly honest himself. He is the reason for all of his own misfortunes. Because he couldn't keep his dick in his parents and lies and is selfish and not a good enough man for Beth. He knows this. Truly he does. It's taken being shot and divorced and a lot of therapy. But he is Dean Boland and right now he chooses to live in a state of self denial. 

it had been his day with the kids. And he had ended up with a stowaway. A sweet enough boy named Marcus who Dean chose to dislike on principle due to his father. He had gone to drop the kids off at Beth's but something had been wrong. He knew it the moment he pulled into the driveway. The hairs on the back of his neck were up when she saw the door was open. 

He told Kenny to lock the doors and to watch the younger kids. He cautiously approached the house and when he opened the door he saw it. Blood stained hardwood floors and broken glass and a discarded knife on the floor. He slammed the door shut and got in the suv and drove like hell. 

He may not be a career criminal but he knew he had to get away. He tried to call Beth. Annie. Ruby. All their phones went to voicemail. He told Marcus to call his dad. None picked up. Dean knew he couldn't go to his mother's. He couldn't go to the police. As much as he resented her and loved her and everything in between Beth was the mother of his children. And right now he had four of his own and was saddled with another child he couldn't risk. Beth would never forgive him if anything happened to them. And dean would never forgive himself. 

So they had been on the road for almost fourteen hours. They had stopped at a crappy motel and slept for a few hours. Dean had made Kenny keep watch while he slept a few hours. The kids were nervous and kept crying. Dean was just trying to keep it together. He tried his best but he wasn't good with tears. The hours he was awake and all the kids asleep he sat with his gun in his lap facing door.

After he got shot and Beth supposedly killed Rio he went and got himself a gun. And for the first time since he was nineteen Dean went to the shorting range and practiced. He would never let himself be put in that position again. To be made a fool of. To be vulnerable. And now it was the first time he knew without hesitation he would use it. If it came down to it he would take down anyone who came after the kids or himself. 

And as he approached the cabin surrounded by trees in autumn colors Dean put the car in park. He had gone to the one place he hated and the one person he knew would be crazy enough to help him. And said figure sat on the porch with two large dogs at his feet, shotgun in his lap, and cigarette between his lips. 

Dean shook his head and called for the kids to wake up. 


End file.
